Today

 

A moment of breezy
A moment of heavy downpour
arranged haphazardly, but in sequence
wrote my Today.
It was doleful-
I wanted to make a phone call to you.
Wanted to cry, wanted to shout
wanted to say...
but jittery of rejection
I didn't. I couldn't.
Today I survived
wishing I was dead,
waking up scared,
running out of cigarettes, today
I survived.
I got a bruise, that dries up and bleeds
every now and then.
I got records of you singing,
stuck in dilemma
if listening to them is the pain or the remedy.
All the old happy photographs
of summer, stares at me
with loud, wild eyes
at the cold me, but I survived.
I cannot survive to witness
your oblivion for me
But today I survived.
My room was cold today
And I survived.